This is a schaudenfreude continuation post from my primary Ellie Asks
Why blog. You need not ask “Why?” as it should be obvious soon enough.

For a real treat, have a glance at the remarkably unprofessional and
surprisingly unflattering photos on Asana’s “Company” page.

Starting with “The Team”: Dustin Moskovitz looks like
he’s fleeing from Harvard, as mentioned in his bio. Malcolm
Handley
is backlit, gazing downward and with the intensity
usually associated with viewing online porn (and a similar angle of
declination, which is different than if he were coding), Jerry
Phillips
, the office manager, is one of the few staff members
who actually completed her degree program, and communicates that in a
meaningful way (B.A. in Psychology from Stanford University). Perhaps
that’s because she wrote her own entry.

For example, there is no indication where Avital
Oliver
completed his undergraduate or graduate education,
despite “coding as a child” and his involvement “in a large-scale
re-implementation of the Israeli Air Force tactical information
system” as well as founding “the School of Mathematics in Brooklyn.”
That’s in contrast to Jack Stahl, who “majored in
math before sticking around for a master’s in computer science [at
Stanford]”. Sticking around?

Geoff Schmidt‘s bio is a morass of poor English
usage. I doubt he’s seen it, nor his photo. Although Geoff’s photo is
nicely juxtaposed with user experience designer Stephanie
Hornung
, who “has a a Masters of Information from UC
Berkeley”.

Time for the Advisors/ Angel Investors section: Let us begin with
Marc Andreessen. He has accomplished so much, and
should have a better description than as “one of the few to pioneer a
software category used by over a billion people, and one of the few to
co-found two billion-dollar companies.” I had to read that twice to
understand it. Although I didn’t know that he “served as AOL’s Chief
Technology Officer”. Did you? Matt Cohler’s black and
white photo must be from a junior high school yearbook. He looked very
sweet. Adam D’Angelo was photographed while texting.
I wonder if Ben Horowitz met Marc Andreessen when they
were both working at AOL? Mitch Kapor is wearing a flower patterned
shirt that clashes with his flower patterned suit jacket. He is
described as the “founding investor and Board Chair” of Linden
Research. Peter Thiel’s photo is the smallest in
size, but his digital footprint is by far the largest. His bio needs
an update however, where he is described as the “founding investor and
board member of Facebook, which serves more than 250 million active
users.” I think that number has doubled and then some….

I’ll conclude by noting that Peter Thiel and Owen Van
Natta
both display appropriate photographs and well-written
biographies. As a purely ad hoc observation, those two, along with Ben
Horowitz and Greg Slovacek, have the most physically pleasing images
on the page.

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